1. Be
a good model to them. We need to admit that as parents we really influence our
kids whether it is positively or negatively. Children copy parents how we act,
talk, dress and how we handle any circumstances. They learn most of this to us
parents. We parents (family) are the first person who is with them all
throughout their childhood. I remember one time my three years old son always
saw me using my body spray and gel before going to work. Then one Friday morning
while we are preparing for a church service, I saw him putting some gel in his
hair and he smiled at me and ask me if he can use a little of my gel and body
spray. That’s make me smile though. I then think if I am a good model for my
kids? What if they saw me drinking or smoking (though I’m not use to it)? In
this incident, now I more careful in everything I do when my kids are watching
me. I will make sure that I will be a good role model to them. But not only for
us parents but for all who is with the children, like our grandparents,
siblings, uncles or even his nanny.
2. Walk
the talk. Many times we as our kids to do things, but we as parents, we forget
to follow what we are told to our children. We are so good at lecturing our
kids, but not a really a good role model to them. One time my sister keeps
telling his 2 daughter not to fight for each other. But in the back of my mind, how can my sister
tell that if they are fighting in front of us. Sometime we don’t notice it at
all but it’s really hard to follow when you yourselves do it in another
direction.
3. Good
Relationship. In 1Corinthians 15:33 – Do not be deceived: “Evil company
corrupts good habits.” That’s the law of relationship. If there’s a good
relationship the greater the influence. It means that if we are not close to
our children how we can positively influence them. Being biological parents
doesn’t mean automatically you have a good relationship. Sometimes our kids
find it in another person or friends. That’s why it is important to build up a
good relationship to our children. I remember in my childhood days, I had this
high school friends who are used to smoke and drinks. One time he invited me to
try, but I said it's a big No. Why? It’s not because I don’t know how to smoke
or drink, but I don’t want my parent to be sad and angry with me later on. I respect
them and I honor them by obeying what they are telling me not to do. Because we
have a good relationship, by disobeying them it might cause a broken
heart. The same way with God, because we
have a personal relationship with Him, we don’t want to sin that may hinder us
in our relationship with God. And we love God.
Good relationship and loving our kids in
not giving things and giving what they want. That’s not the right way to say we
love. The right way is to give them more time, because love spells T.I.M.E. Spend
more time and you get, you know your child as well.
4. Good
Time. The best time you spend for your children the greater is your influence
to your kids. Spending good time does not mean to say you will do what you want
with the kids, rather what the kid loves to do. You can I ask them what they
like and make sure you are ready to ride on.
While making a good time with your children, make sure that you are
talking and communicating with each other. Don’t give your children a lecture
and enjoy the time you are together. This is time that you can observe your
kids what he really like and loves to do. This is the moment that you can
encourage them and teach them a good character and right manner as well.
5. Praying
in Public. You can show your compassion and love of Christ by showing to your
kids that you can pray everywhere. We can do it while having a lunch or dinner
in a restaurant or fast food. Praying before you eat might your children notice
that praying in not only in your house. Praying before travelling also give a
good and positive impact to your kids.
6. Listen
to your child. The more you listen to your children, the more you understand
them. As we understand our children the more you will know how to influence
your child positively. While listening,
it is important that we don’t interrupt, react and argue, but we need to
interact with them. Try to understand
and stop scolding your children if he did something wrong. We have two ears and
one mouth, so we need to listen more and less talk. Be a good listener.
Ask questions to draw them out. You need to
draw question that's not answerable by yes or no. Give them your full attention
when talking with them. Don’t be a multi-tasking like you are listening while
you ironing clothes or washing dishes. You need to look in their eyes, this way
you can listen and understand them fully. You can also notice if there’s an inconsistency
of their stories. Then in that way you can ask your kids that he needs to tell
the truth and you will no get angry. Because it’s better to tell the truth than
let your kids to lie again and again.
